Monday, September 24, 2012

An update from the girl who couldn't - on Orgasms &Oral...

A few weeks ago, there was some discussion on twitter about an old post of mine. Sam's story to be precise. Sam wrote about never having an orgasm...yet enjoying sex...

She baffled me and a lot of other women too.. It was the contrast of never having an orgasm and yet 'enjoying' the sex that threw me off... 

Anyhow, some ladies were curious about whether there had been any progress with that. So I decided to email Sam for an update. Here's what she had to say: 


...there has been one time where I think I did have one..except I can't be sure... I know this sounds bizarre but that actual moment is like a bit of a blank in my memory. What also makes me think these might have been orgasm's was because I felt really really emotionally over-whelmed and completely spent.. and that rarely happens to me during sex, i never reach a stage where I want or need it to stop,  (or maybe we'd just had too much sex, but seriously that has rarely ever happened, probably because I never orgasm)

But since I wrote to you and realised how strange my situation is I've thought abt it a lot and i've talked to ppl abt it, i am beginning to think that if anything this is more of psychological barrier rather than physical.

Fahmida's story really struck me because it made me realise that sex with someone whose trying to please you isn't just physically pleasurable but the idea that another person cares so much about how you feel and wants to make you feel good and can make you feel so much pleasure is so wonderful. It would be real strength to any relationship. and when ppl hold back because of their hang-ups or issues, they're not only depriving their partner but also themselves...

well thats an update on my life. I'm curious though, is there anyone else who you've spoken to who shares this problem? would love to know i'm not the only one of a kind :)

*     *     *


I'm glad she mentions Fahmida, because it seems that her story has hit a nerve with many, many people.

Here's what my female interviewees had to say about oral sex:

Ayesha, Female, 28
Again a personal choice. I myself have gone down on my partners because in that moment I wanted to. Again, it is very hard to theorize sex and try to work within laws.

Layla, Female, 19
I love getting it, but not too fond of giving it. Its def one of the best ways to please your partner, and also a selfless one. Its dam tiring sometimes, and well I don’t feel like there is anything wrong with it. 

Ambreen, Female, 28
uhh... i like receiving it .. im not a big fan of giving it ..... i think it takes too long... my jaw hurts....  

Mariam, Female, 26

Oral sex is great…love it…sometimes it’s a perfect way to keep your man happy when you’re not really in the mood because they tend to be in the mood a lot more often than women …from what I’ve seen…and for you it’s terrific… because it does a lot more for you…for most women than intercourse itself…so go for it! 

Sumeira, Female, 25 

I’d rather give than receive oral sex because it’s an ego trip for me – that’s how it was in my past relationship. It was a method of control because I did control that person with sex. I know I could do it for that person better than anyone else – I was seeing a woman – I want her to remember… anyone that I’ve been with. 6 out of 10 times I did it to her – that’s how I made it.


Zobia, Female, 22
Oral sex is good and fun.  More than men, women often require it to reach an orgasm.  Its unfortunate though that many males in our community think its wrong to go down on a girl and are completely fine with the idea of their ‘girls’ going down on them.

Saira, Female, 22

I have no problem with oral sex.. I think its another form of showing ur partner u care about their feelings... i think its absolutely pathetic when men rfefuse to give oral sex to women... some desi men especially have issues.... its too bad.....its their insecurities....

 
Rabia Female, 23

Good question. I really wish I knew exactly how I felt about the inserting a man’s ‘willie’ into my mouth. Although the thought of it does disgust me – I do feel this could be the case because of the fact that I do not have a sexual partner. It’s hard to say what you would, or would not do “in the moment” especially if it is something you know could be extremely pleasurable to your partner. 

(I find it interesting that when I ask about oral sex, you automatically assume, I mean performing it on a man. And you're not the only female interviewee to think this way... )

(Im going to recycle an old drawing of mine, titled 'Everyone likes bananas' I find it to be quite appropriate... and also.. i don't have time to draw today. :P )



Farah, Female, 29

Mixed thoughts. Again, I would say that women are often pressurized to perform it. I think it can be great if it’s a give and take sort of thing. And re: swallowing. There is a HUGE pressure on women to do so and it is only recently really after have reading some feminist literature that I became more aware that it’s not necessary to fulfill a man’s fantasies, based perhaps on a lifetime of pornography videos, on swallowing. 

(Well however you came to that conclusion, I'm glad you did! Swallowing is a choice.. a preference...some women like to do it, some don't. If you don't like it... don't do it. A lot of women don't. What you see in porn is absolutely untrue.)


Sam, Female, 28

I think its a standard part of a sexually active life. Its not something that will physically turn on the person performing oral sex, but what is a turn on is your partner's reaction and knowing that you're being able to offer them pleasure.

I think both men and women have an irrational 'eww' apprehension towards performing oral sex for the their partners. Partially because they still find each other private parts very alien.When you're with someone sexually I think the least you can be, is comfortable with each others bodies.
i'm pretty generous when it comes to all kinds of sex, because I want my partner to enjoy themselves and specially in a long term monogomous reltionship, I feel I should offer my partner fulfillment, in return for their fidelity and love. I don't think its my duty, but i just treat it as part of a full sexual experience. However, I can't say partners always reciprocate, people can be pretty selfish about sex.


Maliha, Female, 21

Personally I would love to try it out on my partner.  I am under the impression that its terrifically stimulating for a guy so why not? One has doubts about hygiene but honestly, the human mouth has more germs than anywhere else in the body, and people are fine with kissing. But I think I’d have to be a very lucky girl to find a guy here who’s willing to go down on me.

(Maliha...why do you say that? why would u consider yourself 'very lucky', when you're more than willing to do the same for the person? Women need to recognize that they have every right to want the same types of pleasure in bed that they think men are entitled to. Guess what, you're entitled too! We need to change this attitude where we think we are only there to please men in bed. Anything they do for us is a bonus. Its utter BS, don't fall for it hun :) ) 


Mahreen, Female, 26
Love it. But if you’re a guy and you expect it, be prepared to spend some time down there yourself. 

(Hah. Very well said.)

Zulaikha, Female, 34
Oral sex rocks. It is natural and intimate and a loving gesture.

*     *     *

Thursday, September 6, 2012

"He tried to perform oral sex on me and told me he thought it was gross" - Part 2


So yesterday, a Pakistani blogger by the name of Falahi Behoodabadi posted a detailed response to my post about Fahmida. It seems that Fahmida's story has hit a nerve with a lot of people. I'm glad that so many have so much to say...generating discussion is the first step! It's important that all the voices and opinions are heard. Only then can we begin to understand the differences amongst ourselves. Below is my response to his response. These are excerpts from his post, you can read the full version here.

Thank you Falahi Behoodabadi, yours is an important contribution to the ongoing discussion about Pakistanis and their love/hate relationship with cunnilingus. I appreciate that you took the time to do this.


*     *     *

I read a blog by Nice Mangos, outlining the plight of a woman whose husband refuses to offer cunnilingus, despite the wife offering similar services in kind.

The interviewer is outraged as would be anyone confronted by someone with such a plight. However, the second phase of this blog, I’ve undertaken with her permission. The initial outrage makes it so that the general tone of the article blames Pakistani men in general. Which wasn’t the intention of the interviewer.


Well the way I see it, the Pakistani male population *in general* is pretty oppressive to women. A mega-patriarchy, if you will….A lack of education combined with the strict gender roles of the country make for a very chauvinistic society. There is no arguing that.  And from what I’ve heard, this attitude does extend into the bedroom too.

Now of course, there are always exceptions, as I mention over and over again. I’m sure there are plenty of well-educated, non-chauvinistic Pakistani men out there. But sadly, that is not the norm. Soooo I think I did intend to blame the rampant chauvinism that exists in Pakistani men in general (which doesn’t necessarily include you, or many of my male readers I’m sure…so please don’t take it personally. I myself am married to a Pakistani man who doesn’t display any of the aforementioned behaviour…so I do know that exceptions exist!)

Sixty percent of Pakistan is rural, and composed of starving women who barely have enough for themselves and their crying children to eat. These women are not worried about oral sex.

Im sure they would prefer pleasurable sex that results in magnificent orgasm(s) rather than the possibly painful or dull thrusting they must have to often endure. Sure you’re right when you say they are probably not worried about oral sex (how many actually think it's an option, even?), but the truth of the matter is…sex still happens. No matter how little people have to eat or survive on… the sex continues…perhaps more so in Pakistani rural areas because it may be one of the only forms of entertainment that’s cheaply available. So, the fact that sex still happens.. means that either its happening ‘to’ them [women] … or its happening ‘with’ them. There’s no way of really knowing what the average rural Pakistani woman’s sex life is really like, unless we go speak to a bunch of ‘em. But since that isn’t gonna happen…I will base my comments on educated guesses. More than likely, the sex happens ‘to’ them - Especially after the novelty wears off, the man in the relationship probably does his thing and rolls off, as he is taught over and over again. His wife is meant to satisfy him....there is little mention in religion or culture about female satisfaction. There's a Quran verse comparing women to farmland, ready for husband's to plough as they wish ffs. 

I’m sure if the women you mention, knew how different sex could be…they would truly appreciate a good session of mutual oral…

The blog points out that Pakistani women don’t speak up for themselves.
Pakistani women speak up a lot. You have to be in the right circle. Women talk about it. They’re not very careful speaking about these things to close friends. Perhaps they meant that they don’t speak up to their husbands about it.

Speaking to your friends about an issue is not really speaking up and having your voice heard. Speaking up happens when you raise your voice with the intention of change. Suppose someone were raped, and the only people they told were their close friends…. It wouldn’t achieve much really, so that would definitely not count as speaking up. Yes, you’re right in terms of equality in the bedroom… speaking up would imply that you communicated your dissatisfaction to your partner.

Sometimes incredible stories leak out. Some women react with a little bit of anger; this one woman I knew actively started spreading stories about her husbands tiny dick and his inability to please her when he refused to eat her out.

And later, she even shared pictures from when he was asleep. The man is still the joke of the city amongst most women.

Yes, there are always exceptions. The woman in your story was not shy - Perhaps even malicious… I wonder if she tried to address the problem with him before taking it to this level.

And at one point, when she loses the baby weight. She is surprised when she is told that he prefers her larger. Almost all men prefer larger, why does she act surprised?

Umm..really? There is a whole multinational industry based on selling the ideal ‘skinny’ body type to women everywhere. There are multitudes of eating disorders, why would this be the case if all men preferred larger? Unless you mean breasts, but even then, I don’t think it’s *all* men at all…

The issue with women being held up to unrealistic standards is that men are held up to ridiculous standards too.

You’re not seriously comparing what women have to go through in this world, especially in countries like Pakistan... to what men do....are you?…realllllly? I wouldn’t even know where to begin answering that.

If the wife wanted to do it [oral], then she did it willingly, expecting reciprocity was her mistake.
If the guy was unwilling then it might point to religious implications such that imply that he won’t because of religious reasons. In which case, religion denies oral sex too. But would also imply that he’s a hypocrite.
  
"Expecting reciprocity was her mistake" - Wow dude...speechless. 

I think in a loving relationship, one would naturally expect a little give and take. I don't think its a mistake to expect sexual satisfaction in return at all. 

Agree that that makes him a hypocrite. Im no religious scholar…but in my research I’ve found that Islam can be tolerant towards most sex stuff (within the boundaries of *hetero* marriage) except for anal really. But then again, these things are so subjective, it would depend on who u ask. Some sect, some interpretations are absolutely less tolerant. Some are definitely all about male pleasure, and find female sexuality/pleasure shameful in general. 

Also, dear women, I understand that sex for you is about the a lot of things. But trust me, saying it might as well be masturbation is incredibly insane. Trust me. Its quite different. The body reacts to the pheromones and the various chemicals. Its much much more gratifying.

Yes, yes I am well aware that selfish sex isn’t ‘exactly’ like masturbation…I didn’t mean it so literally.

One of the women I was with, her cum would actually congeal and go sour on her pussy. It would actually turn into something that tasted like rancid yoghurt. I would literally have to scoop it off before I put my tongue in and winced. That’s another thing that I never let her find out. BUT. This is in stark contrast to the one before her; who literally tasted like cinnamon honey. Her cum would never go bad. Another one was hairy. but she was never wet enough for it to drip outside. She tasted fine. Not too good. Not too bad. Fourth one dripped. But it was always so runny. Always dripped into her underwear. Never had any issues with smell or taste. Mildly pleasant. Except when she was near her periods. It would get more sour. Still. Never bad. 

Thanks for sharing your personal experiences in such great detail, because that’s insight that straight women would probably not get too often. I personally could do without knowing what all your past lovers tasted like, but hey it's possibly very useful information for someone. 

Bottom line; everyone is different. And lets face it, genitals don’t exactly taste/smell like vanilla ice cream (ur honey cinnamon girl must have used some product/lotion too) – but with good hygiene and health it should be pretty neutral…

But as for your ex with the rancid yoghurt problem…wow… that sounds pretty unpleasant. It sounds like she might have had some sort of infection, there could’ve been a lot of things causing that. But I’m no doctor…so I’ll refrain from guessing. Perhaps she needed to know so she could get it checked out? 

Regardless, even though that made you wince, you still dove in and didn’t let her know it grossed you out. I think you may have taken the politeness a little far… but still…. At least you had the decency to not gag. Whereas in Fahmida’s situation, I doubt its something as extraordinary as that….more like a mental issue. I’ve heard it before from a lot of Pakistani men. They just think going down on a woman is gross. I wrote yet another post about it here.

One of my girls always had to drink something after swallowing because otherwise she’d get a sore throat.

That’s interesting…

The woman should never lie about orgasming when they’re together.

Agreed. If you’re constantly lying, you’re not really facing the problem… and so it continues…

This just may be me, but from what I’ve seen in society and experienced in relationships, all women think they look beautiful. 

This statement is not true…there wouldn’t be all these eating disorders and cases of body dysmorphia if it were true. Sadly, women are more often than not.. insecure about some aspect of their physical appearance…the world in general is set up to perpetuate that.

Dressing up in the bedroom and lacy thongs; while good and all. They really won’t do much for your guy if he secretly isn’t attracted to you. 

This is just my opinion here, but if someone isn’t attracted to their spouse… that’s the beginning of a whole lot of other issues…

It’s opportunity cost. The most efficient way for a partner to please their mate is to focus on the things that the mate actually likes about them. So if your mate likes you because you’re a social whore, be more of that. If your mate likes you because you have incredibly smart papers published by oxford, do more of that. If your mate likes you because you earn more money, do more of that.

So just be a robot, and do more of whatever our partner likes? A very odd approach. 
And if there’s no honest communication about this kind of stuff in the first place, how would you attempt that? Also, stating the obvious....you have to be your own person. You can't just do things to please other people. 

On a side note. The woman on top thing making the man too sensitive. This is common. He is hitting her cervix. Basically a bit too long for her. Tell her to get on top. And lean back or forward. The angle will decrease him hitting her cervix and his glans getting tender). The thing about him not liking doing her from behind. The too lubricated thing, I suspect its bullshit and he doesn’t like her ass, or maybe her asshole isn’t waxed :P.

The first part of this para seems to be good practical advice, I will pass that along. Thanks. And yea I suspect bs on the too lubricated thing too...but the unwaxed asshole bit --- I won’t go into all the reasons it pisses me off. But I’ll just say this, maybe guys should try keeping a ‘perfectly waxed asshole’ esp after 2 kids and 16 years of one way oral…and little to no sexual gratification. We’ll talk about it more then :P

Also, dear women. If a guy avoids masturbation and only has sex with you, then this kinda makes me suspect that the man has an aversion to masturbation. Only religious people who don’t believe in masturbation have sex this often. If this is the case. A LOT OF THINGS need to be re-evaluated.

Agreed.

Also, a man who’s too tired to have fun with you, sounds like he’s cheating and squash game is the name of another woman. And the sweat he wants to clean up by taking a shower. That is another woman’s sweat, which is kinda why he doesn’t want you to, you know. Enjoy it. 

Now that would be a very sad reality…. But you may have a point. Something to think about Fahmida…


Monday, September 3, 2012

Pakistanis & Cunnilingus...


Hello Eiynah,

I ran across your blog while searching lots of interesting topics via the internet, and found it incredibly interesting. I'm a Caucasian female who was previously married to a Pakistani man for a disastrous period of approximately 10months. Although I am a Muslim, as was he, I guess I just didn't take into account that his raising in Pakistan gave him a uniquely arrogant view on sex, primarily, I dress up in sexy lingerie for him, while he decides to go at it with next to no foreplay whatsoever (does spread your legs count??!!), and then he expected me to orgasm just from that......

Anyhow, I was wondering if you knew opinions about, or would do an interview/survey on how common cunnilingus is in Pakistan/Pakistanis? From what you're aware, are ethnic Pakistanis raised in North America, or elsewhere, more open to it? Lots of guys love fellatio, but at least not as many of them seem to be willing to reciprocate and pleasure their partner in the same way; here's to quietly hoping I might be misinformed...

I am actually probably going to be remarried to a Pakistani fellow who was raised half his life in Canada, and he seems to have released most of the cultural baggage from being raised in Pakistan, so is very westernized, and acknowledges that foreplay is very necessary and a healthy part of good sex. We aren't planning to have sex before marriage, so I'll have to find out about cunnilingus after marriage, but I am silently optimistic. 

(If you guys are comfortable discussing foreplay, why not bring up the subject of oral sex as well? That way you won't be in for any surprises later on)

It seems like oral sex is something they [Pakistani men] really want to do, but may stay away from. I don't even think that it's religion that would keep them away from it, even if they are married, for instance, there is nowhere in the Muslim religion that states that oral sex isn't allowed, but then they will look closer at what some mullah is saying, that since they use their mouths in prayer, they can't do anything "dirty" like that with their mouths. Really, there is nothing unclean about it, as long both people are following basic rules of hygiene, and they still can't really use religion as an excuse, b/c if they look back at the Quran, and their own hadith, etc. there really is nothing from God stating that oral sex is unclean, and you can't do it, people assume.

I could go on and on about this, at least from the religious perspective, but in my eyes, at least if they're married, don't use God as an excuse if you just don't like it, just be honest, instead of coming up w/ excuse after excuse. I personally, enjoy it, aside from regular intercourse, and hope to be giving and receiving in my future marriage :)

Hope you can help me with my little question, thanks for your time, and keep up the interesting work on your blog!


Meena



*      *      *

Now this rings a bell, don't it? Sounds very similar to Fahmida's situation. Like I've said before... its sad how ridiculously common this is....especially with Pakistanis. I've heard it countless times.

(I actually received this email before I put up Fahmida's story... so one was not influenced by the other)

Anyhow....recently, I was out for dinner with some friends... just soaking in the last bits of our fleeting Toronto summer.... sitting on a patio in Greek town...and I was telling them about the last post...when a male friend of mine (caucasian) looked quite surprised... he said something like, 

"Really? I thought guys were willing to do pretty much anything to please a woman they want to have sex with...Isn't the opposite more common?"

I was a bit surprised at that suggestion actually, and asked him to clarify. He mentioned that he had been turned down for oral by a girl or two before. Then he even mentioned a saying, one that I've never heard before: (Apparently) brides smile so much on their wedding day because they've given their last blowjob. 

Hahahah WTF! I was pretty taken aback by that one...I mean of course I've heard of women not being into it before... I've met some (very few) that say they hate going down on men, and some (like 2) that say they pretty much refuse to do it all together... but then I don't think they are expecting to be pleasured orally each time either. But to hear that there was an expression dealing with the subject was very surprising indeed. Mainly because i was like Whoa what a contrast to what I've been hearing lately. 

I just began to wonder if there was a geographical divide to who performed more and received more...oral-sex wise. Could it be that where women are more often in subservient roles...that they perhaps feel its more of a 'duty' for them to do whatever (within socially/religiously acceptable boundaries) it takes to please their man in bed, and not demand anything in return? In contrast, could it be that where women feel more comfortable voicing their tastes/desires in bed  they are also more comfortable refusing?   

Its just an interesting thought.... I'm sure there are no hard numbers to gauge the amount of cunnilingus that is performed vs refused in the eastern part of the world. However, there may be some research about how much oral sex is turned down by males vs. females in the West. If you find something let me know... cuz in the short amount of time I have to dedicate to doing this blog post.. I haven't been able to find anything. 

However I did come across something interesting on Wikipedia, something I was totally unaware of:

Miscarriage reduction
Oral sex is correlated with reducing the risk of miscarriages by inducing immunological tolerance to the proteins in sperm, a process known as paternal tolerance. While any exposure to a partner's semen during sexual activity appears to decrease a woman's chances for the various immunological disorders that can occur during pregnancy, immunological tolerance could be most quickly established through oral introduction and gastrointestinal absorption of semen.[25][26] Recognizing that some of the studies potentially included the presence of confounding factors, such as the possibility that women who regularly perform oral sex and swallow semen also engage in more frequent intercourse, the researchers also noted that, either way, "the data still overwhelmingly supports the main theory" behind all their studies—that repeated exposure to semen establishes the maternal immunological tolerance necessary for a safe and successful pregnancy.[26][27]
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Learn somethin' new every day!
Anyhow, Pakistani gentlemen...please do leave a comment for Meena... It'd be great to hear how you feel about Cunnilingus, maybe we can spot a trend and draw a (vague) conclusion. Though I'm pretty sure that my readers are not the best representatives of 'average Pakistani males' - it'll at least be a start. 

For now, here's what my male interviewees had to say about oral sex:

Fahad, Male, 24
I'm very enthusiastic about oral sex :P – I think in society in general...all over the world, oral sex isn’t looked upon too favourably though. But amongst the people I hang out with I'm pretty sure that its just seen as another natural part of 'sex'. It probably seems like a “rebellious act” to people who don’t approve of it mainly because it’s a sexual act that is not linked to procreation. 
To get to oral sex you need to be at least a little open to exploring. 

Sultan, Male, 19 
I don’t think oral sex should be forced onto anyone – if both partners are willing, then I don’t see anything wrong with it. You should take into account the other person who is performing the act of oral sex and their views and opinions.

Oral sex is a relatively…uh… lets say its forbidden in most religions and most people in Pakistan are religious in nature, that’s what comes to my mind, cuz sex is something natural and everyone does it but oral sex is something (it might be natural) but its something people are hesitant towards. But not me.

(An interesting opinion Sultan...sounds a tad confused at times... but  you're still young)


Khizer, Male, 26 
I think it’s great. Love it. I think it works both ways, I don’t see why someone would expect it if they weren’t willing to give it as well. It’s a mutual thing.


Imad, Male, 25 
Oral sex is great – both ways. More often than not… I think sexual intercourse is an equal act – based on both people’s pleasure. But there are days when you’re lazy I guess… (Laughs)

(Having an off day is perfectly natural I think, not everyone is up for everything all the time, but if someone is constantly inconsiderate towards their partner in bed... thats definitely an issue that extends outside the bedroom)

Qasim, Male, 26 

(Thinks for a long time) I'm ok with it....i dont see it as being anything wrong... it involves 2 people and if they decide to go down that path then yes. There are times when that would seem like more of an easier way out kind of a deal...

('Go down' that path indeed :P pun not intended I presume?)

i dont see anything wrong with it ... as an organ.... its as clean as anything else in ur body... if ur getting it and the other person wants it why not. I dont get how it would work with a genital piercing.... cuz that would be odd.. for now at least i dont see anything wrong with it...ive never done it before...but i would hope i would be open minded enough about it.

(You do seem a little hesitant though...I wonder why...)


Ali, Male, 29
I think its good ..... for both sexes.....no issues...i know what people think in our culture and even though a lot of men aren't ok with it, I have no issues 

NJ, 42, Male
It’s a turn on for me and I will say that since I am more into smells; it depends if her juices are sexy smelling I like to lick her deep inside and I also have fantasy of licking sniffing female asshole even when I am typing this it makes me horny hard rock thinking of desi girls ass and feeling smell of  her slightly dirty ass. But if a female or younger male  have bad breath or foul down smell it will turn me down. 
(Of course NJ, relevant and to-the-point as always. Thanks for your descriptive detail. A real piece of work)

Bilal, 24, Male 
Why, i rather enjoy it. Honestly - both giving and receiving. Its lots of fun as well hah (oh boy i feel ever so slightly sleazy for admitting to that)

(No need to feel sleazy at all... why does it make you feel that way?)


S.K.A., 28, Male
Oral sex is only natural. Very much part of a healthy sex life. 

Hamid, 24, male
I absolutely love it. I don’t think it should be considered less than penetrative sex.

(Often provides more orgasms for women than penetrative sex does..so it definitely should be considered a part of the 'sex equation'.)

Arsalan, 20, Male
It abhors and disgusts me, I don’t know why, but I am not just ok with sucking a woman’s clitoris or whatever. Oral sex disgusts me. I don’t think I could respect the girl who once had my dick in her mouth.

(I appreciate your honesty Arsalan, and at least you find it disgusting both ways...so you're not a hypocrite. But I'd just like you to think about why it is that it bothers you so much? Because you give no reason for the hate...ps there's a lot more to it than sucking a clitoris, and one doesn't necessarily have to suck the clitoris at all)

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Once again, it'd be much appreciated if you leave a comment for Meena... :)