Monday, February 24, 2014

My Chacha is Gay

I've written and drawn a rather impossible children's book to get published in Pakistan. No one would want to touch this with a ten foot pole, I'm sure...some day perhaps. 

And no unfortunately, 'The West' did not pay me to spread this immorality and taint Pakistan. ;) Would've been nice though. 


















There is no denying that we are a homophobic nation. And an oddly homophobic nation at that, where same sex experimentation is sometimes temporarily ok amongst boys, because they don't have access to girls (girls however, must remain virgins till they are sold wed). A nation where two men walking down the street holding hands is perfectly acceptable, but a straight couple might get shot for doing that (I honestly almost got driven over for holding my husband's hand while crossing the street, full burqa'd woman called me a slut through the window as she drove into us, forcing us to let go of each other). A playful ass grab is nothing amongst guy friends, but any mention of gay rights or equality, and the homophobia comes pouring out. Aside from all that - theres also the er, state-sponsored homophobia, which declares homosexual activity illegal. 

I mean that is fucked up. 

What better place to start, than with young fresh minds to combat such twisted thinking.

Pakistani children today, severely lack resources that are not painted over by a religious extremist brush. We have things for kids that glorify the burqa...sure. But not much that really embraces the 21st century. They've banned YouTube for fucks sake. That and the breast cancer page on wikipedia or something - because it contains the word 'breast'. Heterosexuality is barely allowed to exist in the public realm, homosexuality is unfathomable. 

As a country, we're drifting towards a more extremist mentality every second. And as a result - so are our kids. They are the country's future. By the time I have kids and they are grown, I want there to be a country left. 

*****

Exciting news.... My Chacha is Gay has been translated into Italian, you can view that here http://www.ilgrandecolibri.com/2014/03/libro-gay-bambini-pakistan.html

*****

Folks: We are officially live now - please visit our crowdfunding page and donate what you can... you can also help by spreading the word! 

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UPDATE: our crowdfunding campaign was a huge success, thanks to all of you wonderful people. Now its time to get the book into more hands! Order your copy here !


88 comments:

  1. Keep doing what you're doing. Great blog. BTW, did you know that certain Southern Slavs (some Croat, Serbs and Bosnians) also use chacha, but for father, no for uncle.

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  2. Awesome, batman! Brilliant job. Hope some day in the near future children learn about sexual orientation in this fashion. Cheers!

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  3. this is the cutest thing ever

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  4. publish it anyway, so what if it is not in Pakistan. it is a good children story anyway.

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  5. Awwwww how cute is saima. Love u kafir haseena

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  6. Wonderful! Loved it. You should get it published. Great job.

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  7. Could you possibly publish it yourself and put it up on Amazon/kindle/iTunes book store? Once that's done we can all help in marketing it

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  8. Main to fidaa ho GAYa...

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  9. Who ever posted this needs to get a life and post blogs that actually have an interesting topic. Chutiya...

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  10. That is great. Being gay myself, I can understand those difficulties faced by gay people especially when they are in their 30's. This couldn't be published in Pakistan, but I hope gay community must share it on social media to create awareness.
    Keep it up.

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  11. Sandra Louison. London U.KFebruary 26, 2014 at 11:51 PM

    A much needed step forward..keep going. I have just shared on Facebook.

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  12. WTF! I can't stop smiling. That is my story. Ditto. Mummy Swear.
    Minus the backdrop is India and no one is forcing me to get married. But rest all - SAME!

    Unbelievable!!! =D

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  13. Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments and support! I am truly humbled xx I have chosen not to publish the ignorant hateful comments this post has received, but I am wondering now if I should, just to demonstrate exactly why we need to start learning about equality/diverstiy/tolerance/acceptance at an early age...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. trash the negative stuff. who needs that. let's leave this wonderful thread of positive comments here

      Delete
  14. This is so great! Have you considered and rejected the idea of doing a crowd-funding project to self-publish this book?

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    1. Working on a crowdfunding project right now! :D hopefully will have it up soon!

      Delete
  15. THIS IS AMAZING! REALLY AMAZING!
    I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM WRITING IN CAPS! PERHAPS BECAUSE I FOUND IT SO AMAZING!

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  16. why the NSFW type warning page before your blog ?

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  17. Excellent, your book is so sweet, we even need this in the UK!

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  18. Children around the world need this book.

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  19. Good work i support your cause :)

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  20. Excellent. Much needed in Pakistan, and in many other parts of the world.

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  21. I don't believe this book will be published in Pakistan, it's a a country that was formed for religious separation, a Muslim country. I agree there are evil things going on there as well that are not in accordance with Islam. But to get people to admit being gay is okay in a country where everything revolves around religion, is not going to happen. Even though it goes on, but no one will ever openly say it's okay to be gay in Pakistan. It would be like getting the Pope to admit that birth control is okay.

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  22. The book gives a message of pedophilia until the pilot boyfriend comes along.

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    Replies
    1. funny how no one else is getting that 'message' from the book.

      Delete
    2. I got it too... it seems really a morbose relationship: ice cream, soda camel and then you say fun together... really it seems ambivalent and in this way you opened the door to any kind of antigay criticism. you should at least tried not to put too much emphasis on their "special" relationship. just an advice for the next story

      Delete
    3. Oh thanks so much for your wonderful advice. And for demonstrating why we need such a book - twisted thinking like yours is more common than it should be in pakistan , unfortunately.

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    4. Im not 4rm pakistan yet I got the same messege 2!! This is so twisted corrupting young inoccent minds!! No wonder the Nation is in trouble God made Adam & eve not Adam & steve!! Sicking!!.

      Let the slanging begin!!..

      Delete
  23. I totally agree with the Pedophilia VIBES... In a country like Pakistan you are always molested by your Chacha, Friend, Brothers Friend or the Mulla... So Before reading the book the name suggested that it was a story of a Child being molested by a Chacha. But (like we know NOW) If its only a Story about having a Gay Friend. Then you better change the title.

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  24. This is fabulous! It's wonderful, even. Thank you for doing it, and I look forward to its publication!

    Also, I think you should go ahead and publish some of the negative comments you've received to this point. It would definitely drive the point of homophobia and our double standards and hypocrisy across! Publish a few until you're like okay readers got the point, and then stop publishing them after that. Meanies and haters will be meanies and haters.

    *love*

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    Replies
    1. Thanks hahha yeah I published a couple of ignorant comments above.... Just goes to show how sick and twisted some minds are... and how desperately we are in need of such education from a young age.

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    2. Hate this book stop confusing young children hope this book gets banned or burned. Being gay is so wrong disgusting

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    3. It should not be aloud !!! Its not right its out of order only gays would agree who are also wrong . Example adam and eve god created them to show us how to live our life and follow there example.

      Delete
    4. You should definitely upload the negative comments. It's important to know about how stupid the people of our country are with their twisted religious analogies for everything that is put to them.

      Delete
  25. Love it. LOVE IT!!! Thank you for making Chacha (moustache!!! khussas!!!) and his boyfriend (goatee!! uniform!!) so cute. This needs a sequel (wedding?!?!)

    Also, Saima and her ponytails <3

    Note to haters: This Chacha is a fun Chacha - he is involved in his nephew's life like any decent human being would be. If you didn't have one in your life, well...sucks to be you.

    Your comments only show what YOU think of gay people. We need less of this stuff. Keep the hate to yourself. Gay people are people, just like you. Don't say things about others that you wouldn't want others to say about you. That's basically a fail-proof plan for respect. A little grace goes a long way.

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  26. Wow what an awarenes !! I mean im speechless ,litterly im speechless with disappontment , anger and shock . I dont know if you are talking about just pakistani or muslim pakistani but let me tell you one thing right now my dear there is no justification in islam about such acts and it is one of the biggest sin. Bigger one than making fun of someone or not giving everyone equal right( technically they don't have a right)And thats the awareness you and everyone need . Im disgusted to find out about the book through my son coz they read at school. Your book is as senseless as this whole gay thing is to me. I'm sure you have talent in writing but yes you need to open your eyes and see the matters where Pakistan need more awareness. All i can say for you May Allah (swt) give you hidhayat.I'm sure you are going to delete my comment but at least you will delete it after reading it. Oh and yes i can give you very solid reason why its wrong. And why people don't need awareness for such topics.

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    1. Ameen sister 101% spot on!! We send our children to school thinking they will be educated into being good muslims with firm beliefs, yet what sad times the schools are teaching thia rubbish to our innocent souls!! We as parents need to be made aware of this kind of corruption being taught to our children! Then we need to act on telling the authorities We will not except it!! People power!

      Delete
    2. Ashi bibi, before you call someone's right to love a sin, please consult your own quran with an open mind. The quran refers to the story of lot (hazrat lut ki kahani) while talking about non-consentual sex between men, and later mentions the same for women. It is very clear that the reference is to NON-CONSENTUAL sex. Sex with consent and love is NOT forbidden in Islam.

      Please don't confuse homosexuality with pedophilia or abuse. Any kind of non-consentual sexual activity is wrong because it hurts one of the parties involved. However, consentual, loving sex does not hurt anyone. Rather, it spreads love and peace and contentment.

      If you would like more information on homosexuality in Islam, please consult Imam Dayee Abdullah, a gay Imam in Washington DC who even performs Nikkah for gay couples, or Islamic scholar Amina Wadud, who is a scholar of Islamic theology. Maybe these scholars can clear some things for you.

      Islam is very clearly against discrimination of any kind, and is a religion that accepts diversity. Even if you think being gay is religiously wrong, you can choose not to practice something but that doesn't mean you that you have the right to reject it. As a muslim, it is actually your religious duty to protect the vulnerable and marginalized (which includes queer and gay people), and stand up for those who are at the margins of society. Islam is about acceptance, not about imposition and oppression. Sadly, most Pakistani Muslims don't understand the true essence of Islam.

      Delete
  27. Eiynah i think u r sick ....n stop writing this bul shit i think u have some problem in ur mind n all so called named muslims sham on u do u guys apricate this bull shit dont u know abt islam n Allah .just go to hell all of u n plz n spceially the writer u better stop all this bull shit

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  28. i wish i can give you a piece of what im thinking about this stupid book and you .but yeah coward like you like to stay hidden .

    ReplyDelete
  29. You go girl! Ignore the haters, loved this. It's FABULOUSSS!! Truly a supporter. :)

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  30. ummm. ok, I have to , have to say this. If you are a Muslim, and have read the Quran, and even if you are not a Muslim and have still read the Quran, then you cannot possibly deny that homosexuality is categorically forbidden in the religion. Nations were destroyed by God's wrath when they didn't desist in spit of warnings. It is deemed inappropriate and against the nature of universe, an evil and a crime punishable by the worst in here and hereafter. Pakistan, a country established in the name of Islam, cannot possibly be open to an idea that is so absolutely, categorically forbidden by Allah. Encouraging tolerance for homosexuality is tantamount to (if not worse) than encouraging tolerance for let's say pork. Pakistan is not a homophobic society, Pakistan is a society aware of the evil of homosexuality and needs enlightened individuals who understand the decrees of God in the context of modern life. Being an educated, resourceful individual you can do wonders to positively change society. Why you are choosing to invest yourself in propagating such agendas is beyond me.

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    1. Mashallah sister i agree this book is disgusting.

      Delete
    2. intolerance is pretty disgusting too. Cheers.

      Delete
    3. I think all the moral police here is forgetting what basic human rights are. Freedom of expression is very important be it expressing your love to your gay partner or straight partner. Love is natural and so are feelings. You can't control or force someone to feel in a particular way.

      It's disgusting to see people who aren't willing to think beyond the religion itself which basically asks you to live a life of stone age.

      A nation which does not adapt change will never succed and this is exactly what is happening with Pakistani. These extremists are not willing to live and let live . Everyone wants to jump on the moral police brigade.

      Delete
    4. Please consult your own quran with an open mind. The quran refers to the story of lot (hazrat lut ki kahani) while talking about non-consentual sex between men, and later mentions the same for women. It is very clear that the reference is to NON-CONSENTUAL sex. Sex with consent and love is NOT forbidden in Islam.

      Please don't confuse homosexuality with pedophilia or abuse. Any kind of non-consentual sexual activity is wrong because it hurts one of the parties involved. However, consentual, loving sex does not hurt anyone. Rather, it spreads love and peace and contentment.

      If you would like more information on homosexuality in Islam, please consult Imam Dayee Abdullah, a gay Imam in Washington DC who even performs Nikkah for gay couples, or Islamic scholar Amina Wadud, who is a scholar of Islamic theology. Maybe these scholars can clear some things for you.

      Islam is very clearly against discrimination of any kind, and is a religion that accepts diversity. Even if you think being gay is religiously wrong, you can choose not to practice something but that doesn't mean you that you have the right to reject it. As a muslim, it is actually your religious duty to protect the vulnerable and marginalized (which includes queer and gay people), and stand up for those who are at the margins of society. Islam is about acceptance, not about imposition and oppression. Sadly, most Pakistani Muslims don't understand the true essence of Islam.

      Delete
  31. Thums up for amnaeali :), May Allah swt gives hidayat to the writer and the rests ameen.

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  32. Why would u do such a thing?? Especially if u r muslim!!! There is no such thing as gay in islam...n not only islam forbids it..ul find practising christians who believe the same!! Do u see same sex animals mating with each other??? Why do u want to mess with the naturality that god has placed. May u be given guidance!!

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    Replies
    1. May you be given a dictionary! :) 'Naturality' ? :P

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    2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals

      Delete
  33. I think this "blogger" is related to Salman Rushdi! Nonetheless both will rot in hell.

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  34. Disgusting, shameless and a corrupted mind

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    1. I know right? Its so disgusting and shameless for people to be against promoting diversity. Such bigotry could only be the result of some sort of corruption in the mind indeed. Couldn't agree with you more. ;)

      Delete
    2. We shouldn't promote diversity in all cases. If we had diversity in the spectrum of people commiting theft or sexual acts, the world wouldn't be a better place. When we promote diversity, we put people into groups rather than recognizing an individual. We favor the bisexual Buddhist half black half white girl over the straight white male Tom because he is not diverse despite how accomplished he is. Im no Muslim but with all the Muslims I've encountered, I don't understand how the religion supports homosexuality and pedophilia. God made man and woman for a reason and made the idea of a family for a reason. This isn't the type of diversity I'd promote in any way.

      Delete
  35. Pakistan is a Muslim country, in islam homosexuality is haraam. Mentioned in nussos katee(quran and authentic ahaadith) very clearly as a major sin. Allah created adam n eve not adam n steve, not madam n eve. Being a muslim and promoting homosexuality and thinking there is nothing wrong with it is kufr. Even though pakistan is a muslim country and many people do things that are haraam, there is no way this will be published there.allah safeguard us.

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    Replies
    1. Well it's being published in Canada, and then shipped to Pakistan. Don't you worry :)

      Delete
    2. I hope this writer fails and will suffer for such rubbish shes spreading.

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    3. I do think that any kids near you will definitely suffer for the rubbish you are spreading. Rubbish like, some people don't deserve human rights, love, respect, dignity.... ludicrous.

      Delete
  36. Disgusting. . Shame and laanat on the writer

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  37. May Allah swt have mercy on you, ameen.. May he opens your eyes and show you the true path, may he use your creative abilities in his path. May you become the best muslima, inshaAllah. and May Allah swt keep you safe and healthy. Ameen.

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    Replies
    1. for all the "muslims" saying that homosexuality is a sin and should be forbidden, and for all those spreading hatred and intolerance based on their so called religion, please educate yourself with the concept of homosexuality in islam. Start with Scott Kugle's book called 'Homosexuality and Islam', which is not my favorite, but will be a good starting point for all the mullah minds of today. http://www.safraproject.org/downloads/ssalhk-homosexuality_islam.pdf

      Delete
  38. Shame on the writer for trying to poison childrens minds.
    ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!

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    Replies
    1. This is just humourous. Thank you for showing us the kind of mentality we need to combat with education.

      Delete
  39. I personally don't have an issue with the content of this book. However, I do not appreciate it being read at school assemblies at schools in Canada, especially to young kids. Just like religion is not taught at secular schools, sexuality should not be, either.

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    Replies
    1. Umm you do realise that sexuality is not a religion, right? Also, sexuality is a part of health education and in a world where there are diverse sexual orientations and bullying - children should most definitely be taught about this or there could be some serious damage to young minds from feeling marginalized.

      Delete
    2. I just dont understand how people are against teaching their kids that everyone deserves love and respect.

      Delete
  40. I get the point of this book and everything, but the issue I have is that the teachers at the schools that read this book at assemblies went as far as telling students to not tell their parents about it. That is when it is crossing the line.

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    Replies
    1. Do you have any conclusive proof that this happened? If this is true then ask the teacher in question. Not the schools fault as that was a personal decision on the teachers part.

      Delete
  41. Well the question is " Are there any gays in Pakistan? The Answer is yes many. Should gays be allowed to live in Pakistan? Yes.. why not. Another question. Does Islam permit homosexuality. The simple answer is, not at all. Can a Muslim be gay? Yes there are many. But we must remember that the God has forbidden homosexuality because it's immoral and it has the potential to destroy very fundamental building block of the society. Which is a family consisting of a father, a mother and children. You call yourself muslim and then try to promote something which is against is islam. A Muslim society can never accept homosexuality. It's you who needs to be educated not the muslim society.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Before you call someone's right to love a sin, please consult your own quran with an open mind. The quran refers to the story of lot (hazrat lut ki kahani) while talking about non-consentual sex between men, and later mentions the same for women. It is very clear that the reference is to NON-CONSENTUAL sex. Sex with consent and love is NOT forbidden in Islam.

      Please don't confuse homosexuality with pedophilia or abuse. Any kind of non-consentual sexual activity is wrong because it hurts one of the parties involved. However, consentual, loving sex does not hurt anyone. Rather, it spreads love and peace and contentment.

      If you would like more information on homosexuality in Islam, please consult Imam Dayee Abdullah, a gay Imam in Washington DC who even performs Nikkah for gay couples, or Islamic scholar Amina Wadud, who is a scholar of Islamic theology. Maybe these scholars can clear some things for you.

      Islam is very clearly against discrimination of any kind, and is a religion that accepts diversity. Even if you think being gay is religiously wrong, you can choose not to practice something but that doesn't mean you that you have the right to reject it. As a muslim, it is actually your religious duty to protect the vulnerable and marginalized (which includes queer and gay people), and stand up for those who are at the margins of society. Islam is about acceptance, not about imposition and oppression. Sadly, most Pakistani Muslims don't understand the true essence of Islam.

      Delete
  42. Fuck u n whoever liked or support this

    ReplyDelete
  43. Wow din't realise how messed up the world is. From this we should take a lesson. And turn to alloh. No matter wat anyone tries to do only if alloh wills it will happen. Don't worry about this petty stuff to much people just simply make dua. It's the weapon for a beliver. Alloh will deal with whom he wills how he wills.

    ReplyDelete
  44. The crime of homosexuality is one of the greatest of crimes, the worst of sins and the most abhorrent of deeds, and Allah punished those who did it in a way that He did not punish other nations. It is indicative of violation of man's natural disposition, total misguidance, weak intellect and lack of religious commitment, and it is a sign of doom and deprivation of the mercy of Allah.
    I am not aware of the writer's religious background but as a Muslim one needs to detest such provocative and immoral writing in the strongest possible manner, merely frowning is not enough.
    Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And (remember) Loot (Lot), when he said to his people: ‘Do you commit the worst sin such as none preceding you has committed in the ‘Aalameen (mankind and jinn)?

    81. ‘Verily, you practise your lusts on men instead of women. Nay, but you are a people transgressing beyond bounds (by committing great sins).’

    82. And the answer of his people was only that they said: ‘Drive them out of your town, these are indeed men who want to be pure (from sins)!’

    83. Then We saved him and his family, except his wife; she was of those who remained behind (in the torment).

    84. And We rained down on them a rain (of stones). Then see what was the end of the Mujrimoon (criminals, polytheists and sinners)”

    It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Whoever you find doing the deed of the people of Loot, kill the one who does it and the one to whom it is done.”
    Nature of a man constantly provokes him to do immoral activities. If man surrenders to the wishes and temptations, soon there shall be no limit. Next thing, we know is that such people are demanding the right to have sex with animals!
    There is no doubt that this act, which goes against the pure human nature created by Allah, by making men content with men and women with women, destroying families, adversely affecting the birth rate, causing the spread of killer diseases, harming the innocent when children are raped, and generally spreading corruption on earth, should be uprooted and stamped out.
    I ask Allah to guide us all to the straight path.

    ReplyDelete
  45. You've written a wonderful book. You've explained a complex topic well and compassionately. People will hate and criticise you, but your message is the right one. Entrenched beliefs are hard to shift, but if you can keep just one child from learning to hate, you've done a great thing. Well done, I hope this circulates as far as it can.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! :)

      Delete
  46. Hi! Hope you're doing great. :)
    Would you sometime please research and write about asexuality (sexual orientation)?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd love to, but I haven't come across anyone that identifies as 'asexual' in my internet adventures yet. If you or anyone you know would like to chat about it please email me nicemangosDOTblogATgmailDOTcom

      Delete
  47. I can't believe there are people here justifying their hate against such an amazing book through religion. I'm religious myself (not a muslim though) and this has to be the most adorable book ever.

    Till date I have never understood how homosexuality is immoral or w/e nonsense people speak against it. I am so sorry you have to go through such a struggle, that too from your own people :( but at the same time I'm thrilled to find someone like you who is making a change in the world through the power of pen and paper. bless you! and may you succeed in your future works as well :D

    I don't think these haters realise the amount of suffering and mental torture LGBT go through daily, that too when living in a restricted environment. It breaks my heart, it rly does and I am always reminded how hard it's been for such people to come out so thank you for giving them a voice in your community :)

    Maybe one day people will realise that religion means morality, a code of conduct not oppression. It's about knowing yourself first and acting in a way which not only benefits you but the community. None of us have seen God and if we are so intent on believing in the diety up in the sky then what better way to service Him than help humanity?

    After all humanity is and shall always be above every religion there is.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Eiynah… seeing the book made my day. And then seeing that it's already crowdfunded made it even better. Thank you so much. I have great respect for the bravery that all of this takes. Please keep keeping on.

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  49. I just read your letter to Ben Affleck and got the link of your blog and I am so excited to go through your posts and be like "THATS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!"

    I am from India and though things are better here, they are not exactly all hunky dory with the extremists waiting to take away freedom at the drop of a hat...anyway, I am glad you are taking up this issue and so eloquently putting it forward! I loved reading this book and am wondering if this is the entire thing or just an excerpt?

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  50. l just wasted one minute of my life because my professor gave us this link and asked us to look at it.

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  51. Dear writer,
    Kudos to you for educating kids and adults about love. The kind of love that is not perceived as natural. I cannot imagine the resistance you would have faced (or are still facing) to publish this. Many of us support you and will continue doing so.
    Some people started with the assumption that it is about raising awareness about child abuse. There is nothing wrong if this article was about that. After all that is another pressing issue that needs attention. The reason behind the assumption is quite simple. Many ads or write-ups start with a child talking about someone close to the,m treating them with love and kindness. They also shower the child with gifts.
    If was the perspective of readers. I think you should leave it at that and not bother about it too much. Art can have multiple point of views.

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  52. I'm a Pakistani lesbian, and I actually teared up after reading this. xP I guess I'm just really over-emotional haha, but this was a very nice read!

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  53. You are a candle in the darkness. Keep the spark going and let us all do what we can to spread the flame.

    My problem isn't with Islam but with the continued imposition of 10th Century Conservative logic spread in its name.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Dear Eiynah,
    How are you?
    I'm the translator who translated the Chacha into German and Luxembourgish, can you please me a link to the publications? Thanks a lot,
    Tania (tania[at]moien[dot]eu

    ReplyDelete