Saturday, April 2, 2011

Porn is for Perverts...



Those of you that know me, will know that i'm not exactly the most tech savvy person in the world... but hey, I do what i can... I have learned to draw with a mouse, write a blog and a couple of days ago, i even started a Twitter account.. wtf! Yup all by myself....although i think i accidentally started following Kim Kardashian, which i had no intention of doing... agh... i'll figure it out.. eventually...for now i'm just excited to have a new place to connect with ppl... but being on there too long makes my head hurt.

lol ... i'm slowly growing in to this century... I remember at first when i started dating my husband....i got the sense he kinda thought it was a 'damsel in distress' act..... me, trying to be cute so he could come to my rescue... and help me with computer-related issues...something he's very good at (thankfully)... but lol, he's now realised it wasn't an act at all... and that it may not be as 'cute' as he first thought it might be... :/

But hey, at least I've got someone to download music, movies, and take care of any other tech issues i may have. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about somthing though,
and that something is porn. Lol, not in that way...maybe a little in that way.. but mostly i've just been curious about what porn would be like if it were catered to me. Porn for women. I'm sure its out there.... guess who i'm gonna ask to find me some ;) It'll just be interesting to see.

Of course, I've seen enough mainstream porn to know it doesnt do much for me... and I've talked to a lot of women who feel the same way...but thats cuz we're not who they're marketing it to. And if thats the case, then why isnt there an equally bustling porn scene that caters to women? Is it cuz we're not interested enough in watching sex to make a female-oriented porn scene worthwhile? Or is it cuz society everywhere is still set up to believe that the business of sex is mainly for men.

Do we just not have the drive to stimulate/inspire the making of female-oriented porn or are we just taught to hide our sexuality to the point that we're not seen as sex consumers... when we very well could be.. *shrug* i honestly don't know....

A couple of days ago I had a friend visit me...I was telling him about my blog and somehow the conversation turned to pornography... and how he claimed that there wasn't really a market for it (girl porn). We talked more about what i think girl porn would be like...and I found myself describing something that didnt sound a lot like porn at all... he laughed... he's like, "if all you want is an hour of build up, story.. and then some light romantic sex... with little or no male frontal nudity... then thats what movies are..."

that threw me off.... cuz yeah.... movies have all that...

I'm pretty stumped though...what would i like in a porno?.... i don't fucking know... till now i was just accepting whatever was out there...but girl porn exists..for realz...I just hadn't put much thought into it before...

...soon my husband is going to have a internet-search homework assignment, that i don't think he'd mind too much. lol. Once i find it, i'll let you know if it was any good. (As for the other gentlemen reading this post, perhaps you'd like to try it out on your lady friend... and see if it does anything for her? Go forth and hunt for girl porn ;) )

Coincidentally, the same day I had that conversation with my friend a reader mailed me a link to an article about female porn... the next day, I was at the doctors office, reading a paper in the waiting room and I saw that we're having some female porn awards in Toronto... its like all signs are pointing to girl porn these days... obviously the heavens are trying to tell me to watch some. *Shrug* A girl's gotta do what the universe is telling her. And yes, in Toronto, some of our papers have pretty racy ads... i remember my cousins from the states were pretty shocked to see the paper here...lol

One things for damn sure, girl porn wouldn't have the same kind of perfect blonde with fake boobs in every clip....thats an image thats not very relatable for the average woman...we do need something a little more realistic and believable than that...

* * *

How does all this porn talk relate to Pakistan you ask? Because the people in our country consume a heck of a lot of porn, thats how. I remember someone took me to a 3 storey 'mall' called Rainbow Centre while i was in Karachi... apparently a lot of what they sold there was 'Blue Films'. I didnt go in though, I stayed in the car... I wasn't in the mood to have my ass grabbed by the horny men of Karachi bazaars...it's bad enough in the vegetable markets... i didnt want to find out what it'd be like in a porn market. I heard they closed that place down though... some kinda piracy issue or whatever (correct me if im wrong)... but I'm sure Karachi, and Pakistan in general has plenty of sources - not just that one.

When we lived there (Karachi) briefly, my brother went into the drivers room one time... and found a blowjob dvd on the guys charpai (bed)... my brother came downstairs... super disturbed... he was only a teenager then, lol... he was like wtf! we have to get rid of this guy.. he's a perv... blah, blah blah... I was actually sympathetic to the driver at the time...I simply said, that he shouldnt have gone into the guys room... he's an adult... and plus his wife's in some village....so he obviously doesnt have access to sex.... what else is a guy going to do... right? that was my initial reaction.. but later we discovered that this guy was a fucking perv... and that he was taking advantage of other 'servant' (i so hate using that word) women that lived on the street....but the point of my story here is, that he could've been a perfectly decent guy... who just needed some kind of outlet, cuz he was working in the city, far away from his wife...
sadly, that wasnt the case and he was a complete dick, but my point is... porn isn't what caused him to be a dick...

what do you think? Do you think that giving sexually frustrated men access to porn will just fuck them up even more, or is it healthy to give them access to an outlet...to release some of that sexual frustration.... We're an Islamic country... we don't approve of masturbation, and we certainly don't approve of pornography... yet almost every man in Pakistan has some...including the religious ones (this driver of ours had a full mullah beard) ... who's really looking down on who here....? and why? why the bloody hypocrisy?

Course we're such a righteous country, that we don't make porn....(although I have heard of instances and recently even read an article - though i question the accuracy)....

Once i attended a bachelorette party in Karachi where someone had gotten hold of porn with brown ppl in it. They were probably Indian - and it was super weird to watch.... seeing brown people fuck isn't a visual im used to...almost any other race is less disturbing...

see how deeply ingrained it is? I'm all about being open-minded and sexually liberated... but watching brown people fucking...hits too close to home...

* * *

But of course, this discussion on pornography opens up a whole other can of worms - the exploitation of women, and how some peoples partners feel cheated on, etc. Most importantly, my main issue is the exploitation of women... which is why I think a country like Pakistan shouldn't be making porn - they're just not ready...women are already opressed sexually, exploiting them on a film set would be far too easy, and acceptable. In other parts of the world women are still exploited in terms of making porn, but that is not always the case.

As for some partners feeling cheated on, I mean.... thats more of a personal thing..if someone you love and respect and share your life with feels uncomfortable with the idea, then thats something you need to work out together.

Although I'm gonna say, with access to the internet all the time... the temptation is just too great for a lot of people (especially men) ... so it's a little unrealistic (in my opinion) to expect them to live a totally porn-free life...

on a lighter note.... here's something i came across on youtube...it makes me cringe but i can't look away....we may or may not have a porn industry in Pakistan, but the dance scenes in some of our movies are seriously vulgar... lol I dunno why this makes me cringe more than a full on double-penetration shot... but something about this is far more ... i'm gonna say 'nasty'... cuz i can't think of a more accurate word. Perhaps its all just conditioning... i can more easily accept straight up double penetration... than this weirdness... oh - and this actually turns people on... WTF... lol feel free to explain how... anyone...

19 comments:

  1. I'm not qualified to comment on the whole porn for females thing, but in the context of Pakistan:-

    1. Video stores still sell a whole lot of porn
    2. People now have access to broadband, so if even one guy in the mohalla has it, he'll download it and everybody's got it through USBs
    3. Net cafes, duh?
    4. Yes, there is a nascent domestic porn industry. This was most probably a very spiced up report and was debated by the whole forumsphere (on its truthfulness) http://tribune.com.pk/story/9990/inside-the-porn-industry-pakistan/

    PS : Even Playboy had something called "TV for 2" out recently. Something like for couples or like that. Was featured on major movie and tv blogs

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yah i saw that article too... in fact i linked it in the post as well... it was pretty interesting.. but i don't believe that its entirely accurate...prolly a spiced up report, like u said.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm not quite sure what you mean by giving sexually frustrated men access to porn will help or not. I agree if you mean porn being more openly available and acceptable in the community

    But there is as already access to porn as one would like, praise the internet, and almost all men would watch it regularly, its a little more stemmed out.

    While porn is indeed good for getting off a lot of angst, it still isn't the real deal like intercourse. It can work for a while but the novelty wears off. Then it comes to quite a number of things.

    1. I would have to side with the feminists here, females are regarded as second class citizens in pakistan. If some male sees any white females in porn, and regards local females as second class citizens there is no doubt he would look for a better sexual experience and possibly abuse them.

    2. Like you've mentioned in your earlier posts, females tend to show much less appreciation for sexuality than males. This imbalance is so high that it just makes sexuality a not discussed thing even for close hetero friends or couples, and as a result people would watch porn alone, feel like they have an unholy addiction and feel inferior when they mingle in sexual activities. this would apply to both genders i presume.

    3. the perception of sexuality being so bad is soo ingrained in us, that like you said about the brown people porn bit, its just mental conditioning, and however open you are it does take a while to get used to it. some morally uneducated guys want to alleviate the whole trouble of getting a girl and instead would go to boys and children for that experience, which is just plain horrible.

    The more you think about it, the wider it gets. Porn is already out there, and a pervert is just a person who gets caught watching it. The ones who dont get caught get away with it.

    Its just the question of making it less of a social taboo, which you are doing, which is awesome. We're not angels after all, we're still animals. If one of the most naturally enjoyable and relatively harmless characteristics of ours are blocked out, it can significantly alter us.

    Ofcourse, there are limits to it, and we can only have them if we are honest about them. Given the bad moutihng any sexual activity has, its no wonder ppl will lie about it and create a whole new fictional world of problems.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I seem to have skipped the line where you linked it. The reporter filed only one piece after that (maybe got fired?). On a side note, the point about the mujras you brought up, a post on mujras and refrigerators (sounds weird, no?) http://bollywoodfoodclub.wordpress.com/2011/03/29/the-refrigerator-mujras-of-deedar-and-nargis/

    ReplyDelete
  5. We should remember porn is just a simulation of sexual intercourse. If you want to remove the taboo you need to do it with sex itself rather than porn, because everybody watches porn and just hides it. Remove the taboo about sex and porn will be the least of worries.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Taimur - in my opinion, sexually frustrated men are the kind that have little or no interaction with the opposite sex.. who have no outlet other than porn. And yes, i did mean that perhaps we shouldn't be as judgemental when it comes to porn.

    My brother found a video in our drivers room... and freaked out, but i'm sure if it was in a relative's room he wouldn't be as disturbed. Was the driver a pervert all of a sudden, cuz he was viewed as a non-person almost...someone who shouldnt express himself sexually in his own room even? i think im going off on another tangent here... but to simplify it, there should be less judgement involved. You put it well when you say,

    "Porn is already out there, and a pervert is just a person who gets caught watching it. The ones who dont get caught get away with it."

    Your third point is pretty key here; this is the kind of damage that comes from trying to control natural animal urges...child abuse... its sickeningly common in our country and highly underreported. A lack of awareness and the taboo surrounding heterosexual activity are root causes...

    of course, we cant deny that a lot of porn exploits women, we are definitely not ready for the production side in Pakistan...

    L A* brings up a great point in mentioning that ideally, removing taboos associated with sex would naturally lessen the taboos associated with porn-consumption... but to get rid of sex-associated taboos is a task that seems impossible... it almost seems easier to get people to view pornography in a light-hearted manner...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anon 3:39 - lol LOVED the article about the mujrahs and refigerators... what a bizarre connection! It was a great angle to write from...my husband enjoyed the article too... lol yet.. he was still unable to explain to me what the appeal is in these really vulgar dance moves... Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  8. woops i deleted a comment by mistake... but i'll post it again:
    Zag has left a new comment on your post "Porn is for Perverts...":

    I think you've been misinformed about Rainbow Center in Karachi. It's not a porno mall as u r under the impression. It's basically a "desi mall" of all pirated digital goods, movies/music/pc software/xbox games/etc etc etc. Sure they sell porn over there as well, but it's minuscule when u compare it to other things.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Zag: I know that they sell a lot of other stuff too... but i hear that a large portion is porn as well.. but i could be wrong... i mean i've never set foot in the place myself..lol

    ReplyDelete
  10. First of all, that tribune porn story was fake, as even the other staffers at tribune were bemused by the article. Though, I am sure there are some productions out there, but must be very VERY amateur and not mainstream at all. Or they are for private collections only. (I was working on the business model once, made a great one for gay porn in Pakistan, as it would be cheaper, I reckon).

    As for the porn for girl, 30 rock tells us why it is one the best shows around!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EprD9uIe9E

    As for mujrahs, something dramatically changed my perceptions of it. I was shocked, horrified, and couldn't stand the sight of them even three years ago. However, I have recently getting my mind around the whole thing. I have gone beyond the "eww, so vulgar, exploited women for titillating some Punjabi men" mentality to look at it as somewhat the celebration of punk (Though, I know its totally a wrong point of view, but i dont find it vulgar now). It doesn't titillates me as it would for others, but i am not looking for that over here.

    ReplyDelete
  11. nice write-up marred only by the constant resort to lol.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hello Eiynah,
    I recommend watching this 2 part BBC documentary about the porn industry and its effects to answer some of your questions.

    http://www.youtube.com/user/0oo0THELONETIGER0oo0#grid/user/B13035F3E564BAB0

    Porn and what it has become is a very new phenomenon, we are the guinea pigs for this social experiment; which is why you'll find more questions than answers.

    Good on you for following your curiosity about this subject. Every man on this planet has been 'spanking the monkey' since he discovered it. I find women's inhibition to delve into the subject frighteningly naive and irresponsible to a certain degree. I say this considering that they share the planet (and perhaps their lives) with another gender. To not be curious about what makes them tick is beyond me. Conversely, every man on this planet wants to know what women want as soon as they start to find them attractive.

    Hope to read more anecdotes framed in a cultural context. Why? Simply because I believe the answers lie within understanding cultural norms!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I laugh out loud a lot... sue me :P

    ReplyDelete
  14. Humza - that was a great documentary... thanks for the link. They brought up some really good points, like the morality of non-condom porn, and the effects of the rest of the world thinking that anything out of the west is great, etc. But like you said... it only brings more questions up....

    the funniest thing was - there are porn hedgefunds!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Laddu: JustSayingMay 28, 2011 at 1:02 AM

    The aspect of porn that creeps me out the most..and I'm surprised NO ONE has brought it up, is the sharing of porn in workplaces!! I know for a fact it happens in Pakistan and have heard slightly more subtle reference of it in Canada as well. My contentions with it:

    1. The fact that its used as a form of bonding between senior professionals and their subordinates pisses me off since im a woman and can't partake (in the bonding ofcourse...not the sharing!)
    2. Its friggin wierd!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. @Laddu : I agree, i've always found that pretty odd as well... its just not a workplace kind of thing... and I remember hearing about my husbands coworker (for the brief period we worked in pakistan) who would send both pornographic fwds as well as religious fwds... it would bother my husband too... I really don't know what it is that makes some men comfortable with sharing a private aspect of their lives in such a public manner... and the whole bonding thing.... that too I don't get... how do a couple of straight dudes 'bond' over watching porn? Then there are circle jerks and all sorts of things....I may be wrong, but guys seem more comfortable with this kind of intimacy with each other in Pakistan as opposed to Canada... It might all stem from gender segregation and the need for physical contact that remains unfulfilled...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Laddu: JustSayingMay 30, 2011 at 1:21 PM

    It's so random but just over the weekend, the circle jerk thing was mentioned on a Canadian show and my (Pakistani) hubby could not fathom the idea... which leads me to believe that it may not stems from gender segregation but perhaps from sexual repression (which exists all over the world) and moreso the need for experimentation/ expression with who ever is up for it.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Here is a link that is topical: http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/28/do-women-like-porn-as-much-as-men/

    I think the main reasons for why there isn't a thriving female porn scene is, as you indicated, because many women are not turned on by porn in the same way as men are - thus limiting the production of content, and, also, because of the traditional taboos surrounding women's sexuality, where women are more afraid of others finding out that they would be in to porn; excited by it.

    There is however porn targeted to women and from what I can tell concentrates more on the emotions of it and the story that led to the sex rather than the act of having sex itself.

    Here is an interesting clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5y7R28ZswM .

    Apparently, if female-oriented porn is what you're looking for, you can't go wrong with Jenna Jameson's "the Masseuse"

    ReplyDelete
  19. haha thanks for the suggestion Mackers, I'll be sure to look that up ;)

    ReplyDelete